Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
