i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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