put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
