I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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