I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
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Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
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You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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