Your tits are I can't wait for
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
