I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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