when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
