My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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