In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
