also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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