mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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