Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
