yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I DEMAND FORESKIN
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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