Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
