two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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