Ambien. No doubt about it.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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