Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
