Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
