she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
she looked like the before picture.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I want to fling myself into the sun
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
