More tranny stories later!
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
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