her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
