I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
