You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
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