Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I cannot find my penis.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
