Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
