what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
