The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
