either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
