Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
