how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
