You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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