I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
