I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
