Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
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why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
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He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
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