What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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