Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
