I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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