In the future we'll all be gay
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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