You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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