i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
