So drunk its hurt
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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