ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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