I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
