Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
