If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
