I wish my penis had an off switch
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
