Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
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