Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
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Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
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New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.