I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
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We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
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Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?