Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.

  (847): View more from Illinois

  parking. I am not drunk

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  (847): I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot. (847): parking. I am not drunk http://tfl.nu/zit9
  Replies (9) Good night (1088) Bad night (633)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be

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  (503): like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be http://tfl.nu/q4d6
  Replies (166) Good night (2170) Bad night (4053)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion

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  (314): What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion http://tfl.nu/5o7j
  Replies (15) Good night (5249) Bad night (861)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"

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  (515): I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that" http://tfl.nu/9edj
  Replies (15) Good night (6268) Bad night (1126)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.

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  (313): So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial. http://tfl.nu/zbd1
  Replies (8) Good night (1208) Bad night (4764)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.

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  (248): Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here. http://tfl.nu/bwbb
  Replies (11) Good night (8007) Bad night (1591)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?

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  (770): If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way? http://tfl.nu/2yix
  Replies (7) Good night (4239) Bad night (1687)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.

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  (330): Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am. http://tfl.nu/jkmt
  Replies (2) Good night (2367) Bad night (907)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?

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  (850): We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out? http://tfl.nu/dwkr
  Replies (8) Good night (3397) Bad night (868)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.

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  (706): I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4. http://tfl.nu/ltz1
  Replies (4) Good night (657) Bad night (1917)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?

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  (217): Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard? http://tfl.nu/j2bg
  Replies (16) Good night (809) Bad night (1245)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...

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  (814): Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September... http://tfl.nu/x7my
  Replies (5) Good night (1808) Bad night (545)
• Favorite

  (+49): View more from Germany

  I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!

  (303): View more from Colorado

  It's a Tuesday.

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  (+49): I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier! (303): It's a Tuesday. http://tfl.nu/jt9q
  Replies (4) Good night (1556) Bad night (569)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.

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  (613): Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in. http://tfl.nu/gv1u
  Replies (3) Good night (1016) Bad night (398)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.

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  (607): His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death. http://tfl.nu/nfgi
  Replies (4) Good night (494) Bad night (404)

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