Texts From Last Night

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  (804): View more from Virginia

  id be glad to

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  (804): id be glad to http://tfl.nu/spx7
  Replies (19) Good night (1923) Bad night (1534)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.

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  (330): i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow. http://tfl.nu/ez44
  Replies (11) Good night (3468) Bad night (728)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  dude i feel like shit

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  well u did eat a lot of play-doh

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  (412): dude i feel like shit (413): well u did eat a lot of play-doh http://tfl.nu/0jaq
  Replies (10) Good night (1918) Bad night (4738)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.

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  (925): I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible. http://tfl.nu/f1y0
  Replies (7) Good night (3999) Bad night (960)
• Favorite

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!

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  (580): I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever! http://tfl.nu/u7rz
  Replies (6) Good night (3518) Bad night (770)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.

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  (604): Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not. http://tfl.nu/n7ii
  Replies (12) Good night (3216) Bad night (767)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.

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  (608): You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal. http://tfl.nu/so63
  Replies (21) Good night (7233) Bad night (959)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT

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  (618): Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT http://tfl.nu/hvg7
  Replies (6) Good night (1567) Bad night (553)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.

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  (219): I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night. http://tfl.nu/4hgv
  Replies (7) Good night (511) Bad night (1372)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.

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  (410): If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board. http://tfl.nu/zly7
  Replies (4) Good night (1081) Bad night (597)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online

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  (315): I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online http://tfl.nu/2eyx
  Replies (1) Good night (368) Bad night (765)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.

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  (316): If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple. http://tfl.nu/506q
  Replies (0) Good night (628) Bad night (349)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  It's definitely revenge time.

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  (248): I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes. (1-248): It's definitely revenge time. http://tfl.nu/qj5v
  Replies (1) Good night (590) Bad night (368)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons

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  (858): Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons http://tfl.nu/vmtj
  Replies (1) Good night (549) Bad night (261)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again

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  (570): please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again http://tfl.nu/tpet
  Replies (0) Good night (363) Bad night (217)

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