I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
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