a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
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