i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You can't special order awesome
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
