why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
