i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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