the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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