Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
