As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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