im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
