so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
