Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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