Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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