Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
In America we eat man semen.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
