And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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