Just mADE A PArabola og urine
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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