Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
