theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species