Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th. http://tfl.nu/t2dt
  Replies (18) Good night (2436) Bad night (868)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (347): in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him http://tfl.nu/pxgw
  Replies (134) Good night (44254) Bad night (1838)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years. http://tfl.nu/9khg
  Replies (78) Good night (6744) Bad night (826)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (269): We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds http://tfl.nu/v47x
  Replies (15) Good night (6814) Bad night (568)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this... http://tfl.nu/lbrb
  Replies (95) Good night (7540) Bad night (1263)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex. http://tfl.nu/iyvz
  Replies (17) Good night (9222) Bad night (1244)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  Responsibility does not care about your dick.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (209): Responsibility does not care about your dick. http://tfl.nu/xdqb
  Replies (10) Good night (3439) Bad night (1088)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels. http://tfl.nu/lt6v
  Replies (19) Good night (4428) Bad night (1371)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner http://tfl.nu/h4oj
  Replies (4) Good night (2169) Bad night (1015)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own. http://tfl.nu/wlot
  Replies (4) Good night (1944) Bad night (1348)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall. http://tfl.nu/m2zy
  Replies (7) Good night (3157) Bad night (708)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted http://tfl.nu/ipi0
  Replies (8) Good night (3982) Bad night (982)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (858): No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter. http://tfl.nu/lm85
  Replies (17) Good night (3179) Bad night (860)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers. http://tfl.nu/zbe6
  Replies (2) Good night (895) Bad night (340)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only. http://tfl.nu/5mf4
  Replies (4) Good night (619) Bad night (275)

Randomize