How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
