Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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