We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
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He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
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I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.