Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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