Texts From Last Night

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  (956): View more from Texas

  around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...

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  (956): around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people... http://tfl.nu/4vgn
  Replies (6) Good night (3076) Bad night (1073)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?

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  (281): On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do? http://tfl.nu/4exj
  Replies (48) Good night (1459) Bad night (5971)
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  (516): View more from New York

  you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish

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  (516): you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish http://tfl.nu/rp8q
  Replies (17) Good night (628) Bad night (4105)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  running late. just ran over a dude on a bike

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  (813): running late. just ran over a dude on a bike http://tfl.nu/e4pf
  Replies (52) Good night (2138) Bad night (8125)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  just got booed by the entire restaurant.

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  (614): just got booed by the entire restaurant. http://tfl.nu/m1gn
  Replies (10) Good night (924) Bad night (3865)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".

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  (603): Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight". http://tfl.nu/suji
  Replies (5) Good night (4161) Bad night (1255)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out

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  (267): Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out http://tfl.nu/835w
  Replies (14) Good night (4849) Bad night (1362)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.

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  (215): And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird. http://tfl.nu/shu7
  Replies (5) Good night (959) Bad night (2412)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint

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  (914): I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint http://tfl.nu/yez0
  Replies (10) Good night (768) Bad night (1738)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.

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  (813): Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier. http://tfl.nu/oqez
  Replies (8) Good night (1941) Bad night (631)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Beer bonging to Ave Maria

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  (484): Beer bonging to Ave Maria http://tfl.nu/1lbd
  Replies (8) Good night (738) Bad night (380)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.

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  (515): I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle. http://tfl.nu/dlxr
  Replies (6) Good night (796) Bad night (465)
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  (315): View more from New York

  dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play

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  (315): dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play http://tfl.nu/32t6
  Replies (6) Good night (1639) Bad night (378)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?

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  (330): I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit? http://tfl.nu/uql2
  Replies (3) Good night (565) Bad night (278)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult

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  (347): And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult http://tfl.nu/hnba
  Replies (4) Good night (655) Bad night (206)

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