I can text with my tongue
accomplished twins. life is a go
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
